So last week on Monday, I had to put down my beloved cat Mischief - who mostly went by Missy.
She was 16, had been diabetic for 5 years but the past few months I'd just had such a hard time keeping any weight on her - found out she had an abcess/cancerious lump in her cheek that prevented her from really eating.
I've had her since she was 6 weeks old and I was 12, she went through rough high school years, university years and first job years. She'd always been there with me through my bumpy relationship issues with my fiance (pre-finace btw
). She'd come when I called, greet me at the door when I would come home, "sing" to me when it was time for bed, wake me up in the morning or snuggle when I got to sleep in. When she got diabetes, I was very lucky I caught and was in a position to treat it. She endured me learning how to take blood from her to test it, let me give her needles with insulin twice a day (and be patient to those looking after her doing the same).
I know I did the right thing, but I still feel so incredibly guilty because I made the call (then confirmed with vets etc) and it's very hard when I come home and she's not there to greet me.
I have a little kitten Callisto (ok 1 year old this month but she's tiny!) who I got last fall because she stole my heart and I knew Missy wasn't going to be around too much longer. I wanted to make sure I had a little fuzzy friend to help me get through that loss (and to let fiance experience a kitten - honestly what 27 year old has never handled/played/pet a kitten!).
Although they didn't cuddle or hang out in our eyes, Callie spent all last week waiting by the door - she barely ate or drank - just sat there waiting for Missy to come home. I never though about my kitten dealing with the loss of the older cat since i didn't think they really got along. She started coming around this week and becoming her usual self but it just breaks my heart when i see her looking for Missy when it's time to go to bed since they'd both sleep on the bed with me and fiance.
I was doing better last week but this week I'm still having crying for no reason spells (which fyi is very hard to explain when you're counter help at a farm store - where most cats are viewed as pests or farm employees). I've never been like this with any family losses before (grandparents, cousins, fiance's dad, etc) so I'm very much struggling with how to deal with all these emotions.